It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
