Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i've created a new STD.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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