I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize