Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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