Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
