After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
