Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ketchup is God's man juice
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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