I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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