found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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