I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
