He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
