you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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