So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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