Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize