Come see our sink grown plant.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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