Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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