Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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