And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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