Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
