please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
