..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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