I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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