So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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