The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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