Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
