i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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