My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
