I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
