I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
