Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize