69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
