Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
