if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
