About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
