It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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