I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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