Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
