The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
