It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
