It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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