Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
