i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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