# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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