Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
