you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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