someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
