You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
