I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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