just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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