Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
