so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
