Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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