It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
