1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
