...so i touched it.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
