I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
