hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
