my mouth tastes like poor choices
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
