Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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