Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
