Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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