Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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