Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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