Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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