super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
