Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
