U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
