So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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