But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
