why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
