my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
