your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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