I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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