I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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