Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he fucked my hip out of place.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
